On The Verge of Glowing

This book has to be destined for greatness. Not just because I feel proud of whats on paper right now but because of everything I have been able to survive so far....

First of all to my great shame on the eve that I was about to print out the 70k or so words I had so far I decided to reread it. Going through one of my moods when I feel I should have accomplished more I completely reduced it down to about 30k taking out chapter after chapter that I felt needed to be redone completely. Once that was complete I headed to bed without any regrets till the following morning when upon seeing the mess I made and my dear husband asked me how the writing was going.

Having survived all that stuff I set about working on something I could be really proud of. One day while going to the bathroom I left my work on the screen. My darling son proceeded to erase about 40 pages of work and typing a million dots in the process. Up discovering what had happened I rushed to hit the undo button. Unfortunately he had done so much that my last undo possible was him trying to type his name. Yes I know you might be thinking that I should have closed it up and opened it up again. Yeah wouldn't work, After countless losses of pages due to closing the program or battery deaths I had set it up so it auto saves my work every 2 minutes....

After watching so much work get lost though through my own actions and those of Donovan I decided to print it out, shove it in an envelope and call it a day. I also decided that I would retype everything allowing myself to review and edit that beginning that I mentioned earlier was holding me back. I began the journey with enthusiasm and joy and discovering many things to help me on the long road, from worksheets to assist in building my world to character notebook help.

I also took many of those old office supplies I had bought over the past year and got myself organized so I would never loose another name card or note. I was ready, prepared and filled with so much positive energy that after an asthmatic sleepless night I decided to start typing it all again. I hooked up the old computer to the 36" LCD Flat screen tv (more so I wouldn't watch a movie and get distracted than anything else) and started typing. The words flowed through me and onto that screen. The beginning was sharp and exactly what I wanted. Paragraphs sounded like the voice I had lost when my mom died. My son running past me with his toys in hand didn't distract me from anything. My husband sat down next to me and I was able to hold a conversation with him while still developing the character of Rian (yes I meant to spell it like that) in my head. Suddenly though the screen flashed and I saw the worst thing possible. A small window that informed me Microsoft Word has experienced an error and was now shutting down.

Poor Danny, He tried frantically to fix it, or to find a way to print out what I had. Nothing, and due to the love my son had shown my previous work I had taken off the Auto save feature. 4 hours of work was flushed away due to no ones fault but the error's box. I have to tell you I almost stopped. I didn't want to write anymore, I expressed to Danny that it was as if fate had decided my work was crap and no one should read it. He responded with something that kept me going. "Your work is not crap, its good. all this stuff happening is only helping you make it better, and all the headaches its putting you through will only mean that when you finish your reward will be that much sweeter."

I love the man.

So here I am on my a 3.5 hour streak of writing and I couldn't be happier of what I have accomplished. I do however back it up every 10 minutes or so, manually onto the hard drive, the portable drive and the RW cd sitting in the CD Drive. Bit much? Yeah but what would you do if all of the above had happened to you?

On The Verge of Wishing on a Star

My Writing for Today (because I want to write on here but don't know what to write about)

Things I will aim to get this year:

1. The house.... (about 200k)
2. A paid Live Journal membership --- hate those ads. Hoping to get gifted with it as I try not to spend money when its something deeply personal..(20 bucks a year)
3. A tablet Pc to ease the whole I love writing on paper but publishers won't take it. (600-1500) 4. A potty trained child ?(priceless)
5. The website (40-60 bucks on godaddy.com) THANK YOU ABE!

Basically 2 & 5 I am hoping to weedle out of friends who are always stuck on what to get me for my birthday. I know soooo many :D Also if my brother ever reads this he can tell my dad all about it :)

Seriously though I think these will all get done by December of this year. The house will all be dependent on Danny though...poor guy this whole me not working right now is hard. Especially when my meds for the asthma are so expensive. Hoping to get into the swing of things though by this school year. My asthma has been doing better I can actually sleep at night now!

Reasons though honestly that 2 and 5 on the above list aren't done is because unless they are gifted I am making myself wait. I want something of mine in print before I go all out and invest in myself. Someone I spoke to told me thats wrong that I should do it before but maybe its just motivation for me you know....

On The Verge of Rejection

Looking back at the last 6 months has made me smile. Apart from the joys that motherhood has brought me, I have received validation for my goals from outside sources.

Last September, full of hope and wonder I sent out my first query letter out to one of, if not THE leading magazine for writers. I guess I decided that in order to accept the famous first rejection letter I needed a good excuse to come with it. I was determined that when that letter came, I would know it was because my aim was too high. It's funny how I never allowed myself to believe that it would get accepted, and don't get me wrong, I have by my side right now my first rejection letter. I have truly entered the writers life, the first letter to toughen my skin has arrived.

Now when i got it, I will admit I cried, once. It wasn't because they said no as much as how they said it. And if you will allow me to quote the letter..."I was impressed with your query, but, unfortunately, we already have an article scheduled on this topic." Now isn't that a wonderful rejection letter? It's hopeful....

If I had my own office, or at least a space that wasn't shared by the living room, I would take it and post it right above my desk to remind myself everyday that I could have possibly made it in, if someone hadn't beaten me to the punch line so why give up and why give excuses?

On the Verge of Planning

The last time I actually took time to write had to be over two weeks ago. Its hard really to tell myself that this is better then all the stuff I could be doing. It is after all a truly selfish act. I do this for myself and not my son or Danny. I know what Dan would say and I don't always listen to it. I have thought about writing though. I have thought about what articles I could confidently write about and I have thought about the characters in my books. The difficult thing is settling on one of them and sticking through it. I know authors who say that they have 3 books in the works, yet here I am with 3 in the works and none being worked on. I should do what Calthorin says and just write. Doesn't matter what just do it. Even if its on my little blog that no one reads. Or so I believe.....

Since this is for me right now and no one else I will plan out my April and see where I am on the 31st.

Goals (To be completed by April 31st)
1. Finish working out Valley. The pages are there work with them before I loose them.

2. Add another 20k words to it even if its outlining the rest of the book.

3. Send out 2 query letters. Yes 2. We must work on the other side of living off writing.

4. Write on LJ at least once a week to mark progress and love.